Bailey,
To answer your first question, I don't think that playing truth or dare with your friends is 'wrong'. However, if the dares get uncomfortable for you sometimes, then it is probably best if you avoid playing them. Because one day you might get pressured into doing something you do not want to.

One the question of homosexuality. To put it plainly, it is wrong. Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis is an example of how God feels about it. Yes, he loves us all, and he hates to see us suffer, but homosexuality is a sin.

As for your friend, You could try talking to her, but most importantly, just pray. Cause she may not listen to you, but God will listen. You can also pray to ask him for guidance in helping your friend.

God Bless!

I'm in 7th grade and I just recently turned a teenager me and my friends play games like truth or dare but we do harmless things but sometimes somebody dares somebody to kiss another person or "other" stuff so I feel uncomfortable playing that now so I just won't do those dares but I still have fun and play. Is this wrong?
Also I have a question on gay relationships, I'm not gay but I know friends that are. Will God punish them just for being different? This has really troubled me for a long time because I thought God wanted you to be you and why would it be wrong for a guy to be with a guy he really loves.Wouldn't God judge them on whether they lived a righteous life or not like any normal person?
I have one more question my friend just recently started liking this guy who "jokes" around with her asking her to do "stuff" when he texts her and even after this she still likes him and I'm worried for her. What should I do?

Yes! i agree it is good to date and court beffore marrieage but we should not think that we can fool SATAN we are no match for him without CHRIST JESUS so i agree with Dennis we should stay a way from nuch physical contact with each other as long as we can REMEMBER GOD SAID WE MUST STAY AWAY FROM THE VERY APPEARANCE OF EVIL.

I have been a Believer for over 30 years. When I dated my wife we never kissed - not even once, until our wedding day. All of our church friends kissed when they dated. We committed to being as pure as possible, and not to put ourselves into a position of being tempted with hugs, wrong use of hands, etc. People were actually worried about us because we did not do any physical contact beyond an occasional quick holding of hands as hello's and goodbye's. They feared that when we got married we will be messed up. No crudeness intended, but on your wedding night you figure things out pretty quickly and everything is fine. We have raised all of our four children to abstain from kissing and physical affection. We guide and counsel them if they think they have feelings toward someone. The world teaches that we need kissing and the physical stuff. That puts us into great temptations, many times which Christians cannot fight off. God teaches us that we should be pure - both mentally and physically. I see young Christian dating couples hanging all over each other. This is a poor example of a relationship. People's minds are consumed with the other person, and their bodies are constantly screaming for more physical contact. There is nothing in the Bible which indicates that pre-marital "love" contact is practiced, nor is it a wise thing to do. Lets be pure all the way, through our entire being, and not be conformed to what the world expects us to do.

As pastor Doug has said, its good to find someone who holds the same values as you spirtually, and otherwise. Although, many times, the person you desire to be with, sometimes isn't on the same level of spirituality as you. So, are you just supposed to forget about them, and wait until they're 'spiritually fit'? Or can you go ahead with the relationship, guiding,encouraging, and helping that person along, and result in having them, eventually, on the same spiritual level as you? It seems to me, that if you're in a relationship, such as this, you would have a greater influence on the person, whos serarching, then you would if the you weren't. You know what i'm saying? If, while in that relationship, you stick to your word and your faith, and uphold God in every respect, your partner, by your influence, may come to God, therefore, making a stronger, and lasting relationship.

ofcorse its wrong, what will the dating lead to? the devil is very smart he will let you think your just going to do a little bit but he takes you farther than you wanted to go. and if you have a desire to date same sex i would strongly recomend talking about it with your pastor.

I have a question.Does god care if you date the same sex or no?it saids in the bible about it.but just date?i believe in god and jesus and jesus died for us all.

God truly speaks through you Pastor Doug!
Thank you for all the imparted wisdom. I feel as though I now know more clearly what the boundaries are. :)

joel what do you mean by holding one another?

I think your absolutely right. Taking life slowly and not trying to rush into anything is good. We have to remember to respect not only ourselves but others too. My mother is always saying "Dont do anything you wouldnt do in front of your parents"

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year and 4 months,when i 1st met him he was an atheist(who's parents were Muslims)...but with time and prayer he really changed...now he attends to church every Friday evening and on the sabbath and just got his 1st bible...and i can really see that hes doing this not for me...not for my parents but because he really thinks it the right thing to do...that's what he want...to become a real christian...
my parents are against us being together from the moment they knew about us..and i have been having so much problems with them...im planing to marry this guy after 5 or 6 years when im old enough and independent...i want to prove to everyone that the love we have is true one and time will prove everything...i just wanted an advice from someone...i was wondering that...dont u think that my parents should have given him a chance instead of breaking us a part...i mean love is not a decision its a feeling...i really want this guy to be with me in heaven...he is really someone i really care for!

Wonderful this little article opened my eyes to a lot of things it will help me a lot in my life.

I think, first of all, going on date means you want to know someone closer. You need it to know the answer on this question - does God want you to marry this person or not? You cannot see real character of someone you love just by kissing him/her or holding his/her hand. Date is a good opportunity for getting know each other, not for speedy growing romantic relationship which leads to sorrow.

I agree with Pastor Doug; especially with weighing the character of a prospective companion through other means other than the physical. This is a highly debatable topic because we're all on different spiritual levels and what's manageable by one person may be a grievous trial for the other (i.e. one person can be capable of kissing, hugging, holding hands, etc. and not be swayed sexually, while another will totally fall apart by any simple, harmless touch), but God in 1 Thess. 5 gave the universal charge: avoid all appearance of evil. Although we know sexual intimacy is something God created and is therefore good, we can't deny that it has been greatly perverted by Satan and anything remotely close to it has a negative stigma attached to it. If brother so-and-so from church sees me walking on the road, innocently kissing my girlfriend on the cheek, chances are he will think the worse of what he saw; if even for a moment. If it isn't brother so-and-so, there will be someone whose perception of me just might change. Am I endorsing refraining from ALL physical contact? Nope, I'm not, because I believe a hug goes a long way. However, there is a context whenever it comes to these things, and context mainly includes those around you. So should we live to please others? Nope, we live to please God; and as long as we go by the name 'Christian', we must consider it an honour to bear His holy Name and do our utmost best to never pervert the perception others will have of Christianity.

Joel, I read your comment and I must say that we have to be careful with our words because from your statement I could've easily gotten an excuse for premarital sex. Human contact is very important; that is true, but it goes as far as context allows: marriage. Not even preparation for marriage is an excuse for crossing the lines of petting or sleeping together. Sure David and Solomon had many women, but the simple fact is He who made them in the beginning made them male and female; God didn't make Adam, Eve, Geveen, Lucy, Stacey, Jean, Megan, etc. Look at it this way: in Ephesians 5 says marriage is a reflection of Christ's (the husband) love for the church (the wife); church here meaning His true followers and not necessarily a congregating body of people. God only has one church; thus, men and women should have only one spouse. Outside of this, it's adultery and corrupting God's ideal.

Brother Dennis you sound like a man gearing up for the Second Coming, and that's absolutely great. Keep it up. But while we anticipate Christ's return, let's never forget that we're not to sit in idleness and give any room for Satan to unnecessarily try our faith. God made us with the desire to want a companion; for some, He has given the gift of being able to stand alone. Fact of the matter is we're commanded to leave and cleave to one another. Marital relationships are inevitable and it would be sinful to tell all to refrain when, in actuality, God has plans to marry some of us. It is true that we shouldn't make this our focus, as our earthly relationships will come to an end, but whatever God does will be to His honour and glory, and to further His mission here on earth. Through a spiritually driven marital relationship, God can create an effective and matchless witness. He doesn't even need a marital relationship to do this; He can use two courting young adults. I know this because I believe He's using my girlfriend and I to reflect the love He has for His church.

I've typed a lot, but I have one last thing to say. How do we know where to draw the line? No one can tell you in order to effectively make you conform to Biblical principles. Like several things in the Bible, this isn't explicitly outlined: don't kiss until you're 34, holding hands is an abomination unto the Lord, etc. As a result these are things you learn in your personal walk with God; you learn the principles of self-control and temperance through communing with God and hearing what HE has to say to YOU. Am I saying don't listen to the guidance of others? No, I would never say that. But, as if with everything pertaining to God, if you're only refraining from something or doing something because others told you to do so, you're going to eventually fall into sin because the strength to overcome the temptation wouldn't be coming from God. This, in essence, is legalism. Seek God; that's the only solution. Once that secure, personal, connected relationship is there between you and God, you will be guided into truth.

PRAISE THE LORD, THIS IS MY ADVICE TO ALL YOUTH AROUND THE GLOBE. LOVE JESUS ALONE , HE IS EVERYTHING, CAUSE HE IS THE AUTHOR OF LOVE. GOD IS LOVE. SO ONLY GOD CREATED ME AND YOU.

I feel as though the major of people already practice things like kissing and hugging, and of course a lot more. It's all over the media, it's in our conversations, the world is just spinning a different tune from what Pastor Doug is saying.

I know that we as Christians are under a lot of pressure to conform. For people like me who wonders, "is there anyone out there that shares the same values as what's being said on this forum?" What advice can you give?

Plus, biblically, it's really difficult to break down what constitutes of sexual immorality or not, so how was the line drawn here? I didn't read any passages that say kissing and hugging should be left out of a relationship.. in fact.. dating isn't even mentioned either... sigh SO CONFUSING. Help!

As we know the source of law/rules and regulations is the begginig of evil if we tend to convince people to take care of the kind of people they date with or hold hands and kiss it will not have a greater change in that From the bible Genesis chapter 3 we get the first scene of sin happens due to aplication of rules that were to abide ADAM and EVE we get them eating the forbinden fruit out of falsefication by the serpent that they will be opened eye and become wise. It happens even in present many not only youths like exploring and experimenting if prohibited from pysical contact i asure you this will be the fashion so to me i can just leave it at personal discretion and evalution to come up with their decision.

I think as young people of the faith we compromise too much to please self. Self is our second enemy and we should crucify self. I to compromised ,MERCY! I am a work in progress. I gave Christ my life last year and from that time its been hard, but who i'm I to complain Christ went through worst than me. As young Christian we should always ask ourself WWJD( What Would Jesus Do) it will help certain things we do we dont feel comfortable or we feel guilty once u get that feeling abstain. My young buddies I urge you lets not do anymore damage to our spiritual bodies.

With all being said there. Christian in the true sense should be careful who they date. There should be no physical contact between persons that are dating. It truly leads to another thing. On the part of being sociable with check books and going shopping that is not always possible. Try this, try having devotions and try praying together. That takes away the needs to be physical trust me. Then the Lord will lead you and you will know that this will be the right person. You will not even have to date. You then will grow spiritually build a bond and in that search the scriptures. Let Christ who brings you two together.

One cannot share what he does not have. And it is only by being filled with the love of Jesus that a person could share to others what he/she has. Both parties should first have a close relationship with Jesus and be filled with His love before going into a relationship and only with God's approval. Satan too often has made a wreck of human relationships since he knows that a marriage approved of Heaven reflects Christ's relationship with His bride. And it is only by being hid in Christ that a child of God would ever escape the wiles and traps of the enemies...

@Joel "Are relationships not a basic human need?"

Yes, a relationship with God. Not a sexual relationship with people around us. (Paul was celibate)

"youth are desperately wanting to belong and to be loved by other human beings. Realizing this, I would definitely be in favor of holding hands as well as hold one another. "

That's why God gave us families. If not a literal family, a church family.
There is nothing wrong with hugging someone of the same sex, but it tends to be a sexual thing when its a boy and girl which is not really appropriate outside of marriage.

God created us, In us He implanted a certain desire, a longing to express love and to be loved, that is experienced mostly at Adolescent stage. that sense of longliness God intended that it should lead us to seek him(ecclesiates 12:13remember now thy creator in the days of thy youth). He is the only one that can satisfy the longings and desire. Youth is the best time to seek the Lord and serve Him wholeheartedly. He did'nt implant this in us to go around looking for 'partners' to satisfy the desire but rather that we may deligently seek Him. Matthew 6:33

I think we need this message not only for teens but also for full grown adults. Amen to this.

hmmm....i agree with you pastor Doug.....i really don't think relationships should revolve around physical contact........ i found out from experience that the least physical contact the better. it's not easy in this world building a relationship at a young age because everything always leads to sex.....so i think youth shouldn't rush into relationships. i know the feeling all to well to feel the love from the opposite sex but until i get older i'm asking the Lord to fill that void until He says I'm ready for a relationship and as for the whole checkbook comment you brought up Joel i don't think he meant that one must be financial independent but to see how your partner views money. is he or she a spender or a saver? i actually think that's a marvelous idea..... the way someone uses their money can tell you a lot about that person. for example if you spend most of your savings on sneakers or electronics you must likely will spend your paycheck on a brand new t.v. than buy a new stove when your older. well that's just what i think.

um i hafta agree with ruel. i dont think that dating is totally wrong its just where you get together with a friend you might be considering to be more than a friend to find out more about that person. @dennis do you suggest that we never get together and just talk on the phone and chat on the internet?

I disagree. Though learning about a partner's values and goals or even how they treat others should be paramount in a relationship, physical contact is a vital part of the human experience as shown countless times in the Bible. Though the Biblical text seems to view women as property it also gives examples of sexual relationships that are condoned by God. For instance, David, a king and a man after God's heart, was known to have many concubines which God did not seem to have a problem with (2 Samuel 15). In the new testament Jesus seems to also realize the importance of human contact as well when healing people and forming relationships with then he also touched them. Why then is it that touching and being with a boyfriend or girlfriend is such a debated topic?
In addition, the last comment made regarding "sharing a checkbook" I find rather offensive because it seems to infer that in order to have close relationships one must be financially independent. Are relationships not a basic human need no matter one's fiscal status?
In all I feel that our church has become so afraid of the dangers involved with letting our youth have close relationships that we have missed the point of why we ask these sorts of questions in the first place. Despite the hormonal changes that happen during adolescence it is also the time that youth are desperately wanting to belong and to be loved by other human beings. Realizing this, I would definitely be in favor of holding hands as well as hold one another.

i have 3 teenagers between age 15-21,and a young girl of 9 yrs old. it is very hard for me to make them understand that dating at young age it is not from God, especially for the girls. They don't have the same point of view as me............i used to date when i was young, but since i gave my life to Jesus, i have a clearer picture of what i was doing was wrong. i don't want my kids to make the same mistakes.... today i am married to a man that is not christian, and our marriage is not healthy...All my children are back sliding..... they don't think christian life is fun, they think there are too many restrictions with God..... please pray for me...and for my 4 children..i feel i am paying the consequences together with them.

@ Dennis i strongly agree with your statement until u said dating is totally wrong. That is looking at it with a myopic mindset. Dating is not necessarily done in a romantic scenario. There are genres of dating that should be considered. Dating present situations in which we not only learn people but also the opposite sex in an environment that is most times comfortable (hence no masks or facades). Many individuals will be reading this, making such a statement can confuse and hinder individuals. Books by Nancy VanPelt can enlighten individuals in their quest for understanding dating in a biblical context. Pastor Doug made a good point about holding hands and farewell kisses, however it is not limited to that. Other "physical" gestures can be done as long as they fall into the context of Christian precepts (By this I mean it will not cause one to falter). However it is tricky, and Pastor Doug's advice is one of the safest. With what is going on in the world and its rife display of "appropriate" romantic behavior it is hard. Nevertheless, calling dating an wrong is a definite extreme position to take.

Yes kissing on the lips is wrong, the devil first entices you with a small act, (taking advantage of our weaknesses) which will eventually lead to destruction. "Abstain from ALL appearance of evil". TEENAGERS-NO DATING, only those contemplating marriage(but no kissing)!

So is it wrong to kiss on the lips when you're dating?

I believe that as God commandment keeping people and awaiting the second advent of Christ we cannot afford to have our minds absorbed by worldy pleasures,as young people we are to invest our time in searching the scriptures and not wasting God's time fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. I STRONGLY BELIEVE DATING IS WRONG as long as you are not yet ready for marriage!

I agree wholeheartedly. As christians, we must be apart from the world in how we do things, and this is the case especially when it comes to dating and relationships. God wants our relationships to be pure, and he should be at the very center. In order to avoid temptation, we should refrain from doing all the things that could possibly lead us to break his commandments.

I totally agree with this, thinking Christian you really shouldn't be physical, you get carried away faster than you can think.

I TOTALLY agree with you pastor doug. I think kids dont really understand the true things about love. I'm 11 and i go to this public school where most of the kids are already dating i dont think its suitable for kids to date at such a youg age because they are too young to think properly.
Don't you agree?

I also agree. And I am very thankful for that event! God bless!

I agree and i pray that we all understand what the lord is revealing to our hearts. woman is not my weakness and the lord is working on me when it comes to the words i choose when question arise about woman, 1corinthians7 is a scripture i go to when there is temptation and the lord always pour out in me a deeper understanding, that burning desire with in me is unexplaniable am thankful that jesus layed down a foundation and i only could hope we all walk and obey, that our light may shine in this world that when they see thay may honor him, the creator, the only redeemer for lose souls!